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Would you consider yourself to be a “good person”? Do you think you have Integrity, or do you see many areas where you think you could improve?

In a way, that is a trick question. In truth, there is no one who doesn’t have anything to improve upon in their life. I may be a person of Integrity overall, but part of what that means is that I am always trying to be better than I was yesterday. There are two main traps we can fall into with regard to our own Integrity, and they are both very dangerous.

The first trap is to think that you are perfectly fine the way you are. Integrity isn’t necessary, you think to yourself, or even if it is, I am good enough. I don’t have breaches or cracks in my character; I’m fine just the way I am.

“I don’t have breaches or cracks in my character; I’m fine just the way I am.”

But if we hang on to idea that we are “good enough,” then we stop trying to be better. Unfortunately, life has no cruise control. We are either working toward something, or we are regressing and losing momentum. If you decide that you are good enough and that there is no reason to push forward, you are choosing to let your Integrity suffer. Striving for perfection is the only way to get anywhere close.

The second trap is really the total opposite of the first. It is simply this: If you buy the lie that you cannot change, you never will.

“If you buy the lie that you cannot change, you never will.”

This has been one of the key concepts in our Integrity Project class for years. We all have made mistakes and we all know there is at least one area where we could be living better. We know that we would sleep better at night and have more peace of mind if we had a clear conscience. The problem is, even when we know what in our lives we need to fix, we have no idea how to fix it. After we have it all figured out, we start to hear that small voice inside that says, “You probably couldn’t do it anyway. You know you will never change. You may as well stop trying. You’ll never be worth fixing. You aren’t strong enough. It’s hopeless.”

We have found that almost everyone starts off with one of these two attitudes. They either believe they have nothing to fix in their character, or they believe that there is to much to fix and that they can’t do it. But both of these are lies. The truth is that we all have made mistakes, and really messed up. No one has got it all together, and if they think they do, they are actually even worse off than if they admit their weaknesses. However, if you know you don’t have it together, and you feel so broken that you don’t think there could ever be a way to fix it…That is also not true. There is always hope. There is no one who doesn’t need to work on their Integrity. You are not so broken that you cannot be fixed.

Which of the two traps is more likely to slow you down in your journey to Integrity? Let us know in the comments. Thanks for reading!

When you hear the word “boundaries,” what do you immediately think of? What emotions accompany the word? What images play in your mind?

Many people have a negative response to the idea of Boundaries. They do not want to be told what to do, or how to live. They think of boundaries as limits imposed upon them by others. In a sense, this is true; that is one way to look at boundaries. If you are a child, the rules or expectations placed on you by your parents or other adults are definitely boundaries. As an adult, rules or codes of conduct, such as at your workplace, are boundaries. Laws are another good example.

However, boundaries don’t have to be a bad thing! Don’t forget that the nozzle on your water hose is a boundary. It focuses the water into a high pressure spray that would not be possible if the water was free to flow normally.

If you decide you want to make an A+ on your next assignment, or if you are aiming for having the highest number of sales in your department at work, those are also boundaries. Setting your goal higher than necessary is a concept we call Margin of Error. A margin of error is a boundary that you set for yourself so that even if you cross it, you have not crossed the “real” line. For example, a guard rail on a bridge is a margin of error.

To put it into simple terms, one of our instructors describes it this way: “Margin of Error is the distance between the ‘stop here’ and the ‘uh-oh!’.” It doesn’t sound very professional to say it like that, but it paints a true picture of our meaning. If you try to keep at least $100 in your bank account “just in case,” that is a margin of error. If you try to get to work 15 minutes early, instead of just being on time, that is a margin of error.

Remember: Trying to live a life without boundaries is like trying to keep water on a table without a cup.

Boundaries can be limits, but they can also be tools to help you go farther and stay safe. Planning and setting goals may not sound like fun, and sometimes it isn’t. But if you don’t set your own boundaries, it’s a fact that someone else will set them for you.

“Oh, yea, Integrity is good. A lot of people need more of that!”

Most often, this is the response I get when telling someone that we teach classes on personal Integrity. We all know at least one person who we think could improve his/her character. (Okay, maybe a lot of people.)  You may be thinking right now of a coworker, a present or former boss, a student, a teacher, or a political figure who stands out instantly when you think of “people who need Integrity.”

However, in all the years we have been teaching these classes and refining our definitions and processes, I don’t think I have ever once told someone that we teach Integrity and had them say, “Wow, Integrity? I need more of that. Sign me up!” Why is it that we are so quick to point out that OTHER people need Integrity, but we never like to admit that maybe we aren’t perfect either? In writing this today I am not trying to convince you, personally, that you are an immoral person and need to be better. Instead, I want all of our readers to know that everyone should be working constantly and consistently on their Integrity.

Our instructors go through re-certification at least every two years. Many students who take the class and graduate end up coming back and taking it again. I personally sit at the front desk and listen to classes every month and I am almost always reminded of something that I should have already known or that I never thought about in a certain way before. My point is that we all need Integrity; and we should all continue building our Integrity because the journey is never over.

Trying to live a life where you “just don’t think about it” will likely lead you down some very dark roads. If your goal is just to enjoy life and not get into too much trouble, what happens when you have a bad day? What steps are you taking to avoid getting in trouble? (Hint: “not getting caught” doesn’t count.) Upon what foundation are you building your life? Aiming for a passing grade in school is not a good goal, because hoping to get by with a 70% is like planning to fail. If you study just enough to hopefully pass and aim for 70%, what happens if you miss an extra question or two? On the other hand, if your goal in a class is to excel and get a 100% and you put forth the effort, you will be much less likely to fail the class, even if you miss a few questions.

To put it another way, your life is like flying an airplane: Would you rather fly just high enough to clear the tree line? Or would you fly high enough that there is no way you can hit trees or power lines or water towers? Aim high. Higher than what looks to be “easy” at first. Integrity is not about doing what is easy. It is not even about doing the right thing. Integrity is about being a good, whole, complete, solid, sound and dependable person. If you want Integrity in your house, and you expect Integrity from other people, why should you settle for anything less for yourself?